They sing. They joke. They occasionally miss a note. And for the first time in four years, Streetsblog’s “Car-Free Carolers” are back.
Using parody lyrics, lots of Yuletide spirit and, of course, plenty of egg nog, these flamboyant flâneurs make a serious point about New York’s sclerotic roadways: they don’t have to be dangerous places for kids and lungs, but can be joyous spaces for people to walk around, shop, eat or just … flâneur.
So enjoy some of that seasonal spunk that the carolers spread all over 34th Avenue in Queens last week by singing along to these songs:
“Biking Wonderland” (to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)
The Car-Free Carolers were clearly inspired by the Bing Crosby rendition of the 1934 holiday classic, though we take the Felix Bernard and Richard Bernhard Smith-penned tribute to the season in a totally different direction. Instead of a chilly Camelot, we envision an urban utopia of safe streets where cyclists are no longer prey to massive SUVs and pickup trucks. Join us as we dream of living in a true “biking wonderland”:
Car-free streets
It can happen
Biking network —
Close the gaps in
It’s Vision Zero
We need a hero
To build for us a biking wonderland
Gone away is
The old guy
Come to stay
Is the new guy
He’s made lots of vows
Let’s hope he’s not cowed
And builds for us a biking wonderland
In the roadways there is lots of danger
Drivers want to take up all the space
Look out for that F-150 Ranger
Driving like he wants to win a race!
Zohran please, can you hire
Top officials who will fire
That do-nothing staff
And we’ll have the last laugh
When you build for us a biking wonderland!
“Eric The Con-Man” (to the tune of “Frosty The Snowman”)
Everyone loves the tale of the snowman who comes to life in that classic Gene Autry hit. But in our version, the hero isn’t a lovable, but impermanent, animated set of ice balls, but the equally cold figure of Eric Leroy Adams, the mayor of the city of New York from Jan. 1, 2022 until Dec. 31, 2025. As the lyrics reveal, those were four difficult years waiting for the lyin’ king to make good on his promise to build bike and bus lanes. Well, we’re still waiting … but with a song in our hearts!
Eric, the con man
Told a lie to all of us
Drove all over town
Never biked around
So we left him in the dust
Eric, the con man
Was so bad at governing
Failed to build bus lanes
That he always claims
It was so discomforting
There must have been an error
When New York elected him
‘Cause after four eternal years
We soundly rejected him.
Oh, Eric, the con man
We have thrown him out the door
For ineptitude
And bad attitude
We can’t take a minute more!
“Bus Quickness” (to the tune of “White Christmas”)
Sure, “White Christmas” is among the best-loved holiday classics. But Irving Berlin’s treacly paean to an antiquated notion of “American” tradition pales by comparison to this version by the Car-Free Carolers. Gone is the foolish wish for picture-postcard wintry weather, replaced by every New Yorker’s year-round dream: buses that are given separate space on the roads so that hundreds of commuters crammed into public transit are not blocked by elites driving themselves in their private cars. It’s a litmus test of any mayor, so here’s hoping Zohran Mamdani can succeed … lest he be serenaded with a new version of the song next year!
I’m dreaming of good bus quickness
Which Mayor Zohran pledged to me
It’s a test … litmus
Of mayoral fitness
If he fails, he’s surely dead to me.
We need a little bus quickness
Working New Yorkers are abused
All the drivers blocking
Makes buses worse than walking
We’re so tired — we are not amused.
I’m dreaming of good bus quickness
And while we’re at it more bike lanes
We could be more hasty
And promote good safety
And get cross-town without migraines
So I’m dreaming of good bus quickness
Which Mayor Zohran pledged to me
This congestion makes me so sick
So may all our buses be quick.
“Zohran, Zohran, Zohan” (to the tune of “Dreydel, Dreydel, Dreydel”)
December is also a time when Jews of the world celebrate Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights. But instead of sitting around making spinning tops, the Car-Free Carolers are spinning something very different: hope that a new mayor will make good on his promises.
We have a brand new mayor
He beat out Andy C.
He wants to make the buses
Very fast and free
Oh, Zohran Zohran Zorhan
Your transit plan’s the best
Oh, Zohran Zohran Zorhan
Our buses must be blessed.
But can he make it happen
He cannot fail us now
We need so many busways
He better make us proud
Oh, Zohran Zohran Zorhan
Your buses must be great
Oh, Zohran Zohran Zorhan
We gave you a mandate!
Oh, Zohran Zohran Zorhan
Your transit plan’s the best
Oh, Zohran Zohran Zorhan
Our buses must be blessed.
Wow, that’s a lot of singing. To make it easier for you to watch all of the videos in one place (or share them with your pals), use the link here (or watch below):
Behind all this spreading of holiday cheer lies the serious work of Streetsblog, whose reporting and analysis holds leaders accountable and gives voice to the larger movement for safe, joyful public space in New York City.
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